Mr. August and everything after...

Carter Wright Phillips

 Fair warning, I'm going to ramble about Carter's birth (nothing gory, I promise) but I cannot promise I won't get overly mushy, and emotional about this journey so far.

I went to the doctor for my 37 week check-up. I'll be honest, I felt like crap. It was the hottest July on record, August wasn't very pleasant either. I really just thought that this pregnancy was a little harder than the other two because it was summer. The nurse does the usual- weight, tinkle, blood pressure. "Ohhh, your weight is up a lot from last week" Grumble, grumble. I had spent at least 4 days a week working on my fitness at the gym- the entire pregnancy. I didn't want to hear this. "Ohhh, your blood pressure is high- really high" My MD walked by "Yikes, calm down. We'll recheck it" So, I wait and it doesn't go down. And there's protein in my urine. Solid. I know these are not good things. So, we talk and decide that today is the day. I had to have a c-section. I had no change and she was worried about me laboring with pre-ecclampsia. This was a little devastating since the plan all along had been to have a VBAC, but when it comes to your babes it doesn't matter. And that was it- baby boy Phillips would be here in a few short hours.
I called Blake and through some tears told him we were having a baby today. I still remember what a blur that day was. I felt like this pregnancy had sped by. I went home, loved on Will and Avery and bumbled around the house trying to get everything together. Thankfully, my sister was still off for summer break and she could stay with the kiddos. Off I went!

We had been back and forth over a name for this poor kid. We just couldn't agree on anything- not that we fought over names, just that neither of us was in love with any name. Leave it to two of the biggest planners to have waited until the 11th hour to name their baby. (I think it's a little funny how we pride ourselves on being such planners yet this pregnancy was quite the surprise) So, about 30 minutes before they took me back we named our sweet Carter Wright Phillips. "It's three last names, Jess"-Blake says this to me and with pleading, super pitiful "I'm about to have major abdominal surgery to bring your child into the world" eyes, Blake shakes his head and smiles and that was that.

Everything went perfectly! And there he was. All 7 lb, 1 ounce of him screaming at the top of his lungs. Three memories I will never forget- hearing each one of my babies scream for the first time and looking at them and realizing how possible it was to love someone so much instantly. It's fierce. That immediate connection you have with this tiny little person peering back at you is really amazing. And every time closing my eyes and thanking God for this precious gift.

 Blake and Carter

We moved to recovery and I finally got to hold him! Then all the usual, but his nurse noticed he wasn't breathing great on his own. He was breathing really fast and his oxygen levels kept falling.
She called the ped's resident on call and after some discussion decided he need to go to the NICU. This was all such a blur. Blake had gone home, he had a long day and had surgery in the morning.
We have a system in place where B's mom stays with me in the hospital. It's always worked out well. She keeps my mom in the loop and helps her not to worry and B can keep going to work.
 She was there to take him up to his room and meet his nurse and then back to go upstairs with me. It was such a strange feeling being so far away from your brand new baby. I didn't sleep the entire night. I was so anxious to get up and walk (I had to be able to walk on my own before they would let me wheel down to the NICU). My wonderful nurse kept checking on me- bringing me Popsicles and ice and begging me to sleep. Every two hours I would try to pump and my mother in law would take the bottles down to Carter's nurse. He wasn't eating yet, but we really didn't know much that night. Bright and early the next morning, you better believe I was laying on the call button to get up. (Having worked in a hospital, I realize how annoying I was, but I didn't care) I got up, walked "See, I'm fine!" Now, lets go see this baby!

I don't really know that I knew what to expect.  When I wheeled into his room I was so overwhelmed with joy and nervousness and there was my sweet boy with all these tubes. I knew in my heart that Carter would be ok. I think God gave me this peace inside that he would be fine, but still the emotion of seeing your helpless baby is so much. I cried- ok, I sobbed. I got to hold him and snuggle him- all these things I should have been doing all night long. It's an amazing thing- how his little, brand new body knew me. My nurse told me his breathing had gotten more stable and his oxygen saturation was coming up. Amazing. The doctors explained what was wrong, that it wasn't uncommon in babies born a little early and without laboring. Transient tachypnea of the Newborn- it usually resolves on it's own but it's a wait and see game. So, over the next few days we waited and watched, looked at x-rays, prayed. I was very excited when they told me I could start nursing him. It was a little tricky at first. He had an og-tube and oxygen tubing, but he was a champ. The second day Avery and Will came to visit. You can't see them, but they both have on health clearance stickers.

A slightly nervous big sister

Pumped about meeting his new best friend

The face we all make when Papa is rambling on

My sweet boy in his little bed

Snoozing during a middle of the night visit to nurse

Carter spent three nights in the NICU at UAMS. And like magic, at 72 hours his breathing regulated and his oxygen saturation improved. That night all the tubes, sensors, pokes and prods were removed and he moved into my room.
It was just the two of us that last night. I wanted to cherish that precious time with him. The calm before the storm of a three year old sister and 16 month old brother and all the responsibilities of being home. Just bond with the newest love of my life.

I realize how lucky we are. Lucky isn't right... blessed. Blessed our boy turned the corner and made it just fine. Blessed to have had such wonderful doctors and nurses taking care of both of us.
Just blessed...

A happy, healthy Carter

My loves.

Well, Carter is two and a half-months old now. We've made it through the first few bumps in the road we've had. He was fussier, more high maintenance than W & A. (Avery told me his nickname was "Crying Carter".) He's already had two ear infections. He's starting to get settled though, smiling and cooing, batting at the elephant on his tummy time mat. Laying down and going to sleep on his own. It's better everyday.
  And, yes three is much different than two :), but everyone seems to be adjusting just fine. Avery is completely in mother hen mode with her two little brothers. Will is enamored by his future best friend. I am smitten with all of them- Blake included.
Some days the chaos is overwhelming. Some days I think this couldn't get any harder. And then Will comes wheeling around the corner, completely naked from a bath, pees in the kitchen floor, and lets out his loud, goofy laugh and runs off. I can't help but laugh and be reminded that I'm so lucky.
And every sleepless night, every gained pound, every new wrinkle, every declined social activity is worth it.
We welcome you Carter, into this crazy family.
I am loving getting to know you.